Love is a Four Letter Word
by Serah Villiers
Summary: Isis, Marik, Ryou and their Yami's are going shopping! Oh Ra. Response to MTG's fic challenge. Isis x Bakura.


Okay, this is for MTG's fic challenge. It's a non-yaoi with the pairing Bakura x Isis  
  
Bakura - Yami  
  
Ryou - Hikari  
  
Isis - Ishizu  
  
Marik - Hikari  
  
Malik - Yami  
  
There will be a lot of references to knitting, that was one of the specifications of the challenge, Marik had to knit. I took it a bit overboard. Knitting is cool! I can't do it though.   
  
Oh yeah, and in this fic Ryou isn't scared of Bakura. I just think that Ryou is tougher than he is given credit for. So he'll be a bit bossy at the start. But he isn't in it too much anyway...  
  
I chose the title because in this fic there is a bit of swearing. And I thought it was funny!   
  
I think that's everything, yeah. So enjoy the fic! It's dedicated to MTG, because if it wasn't for the challenge this fic wouldn't exist.  
  
~*~Love is a Four Letter Word~*~  
  
"Ryou, where the hell is my breakfast? You know I can't cook. I rely on you for one damned thing-" A tired looking Ryou appeared. "It's on the table. Baka." Bakura looked down. "Nani? You expect me to eat that?" Ryou sighed. "It's all we have until we go shopping. It's healthier anyway."  
  
Bakura gave his hikari a death glare before picking up the said apple and taking a bite. "Er, it's bleeding!" Ryou sighed again. This was going to be a long morning. "It's not bleeding, it's just the apple juice." Bakura stared at the apple.  
  
"I thought you said I wasn't allowed to kill things anymore. That apple is now bleeding everywhere." Ryou banged his head against the wall. "Just eat it and get dressed ready to go shopping, alright? Can you manage that?" Bakura made a face behind his hikari's back. Ryou turned and caught him.  
  
"Fine. But what's wrong with what I'm wearing now?" Ryou stared at his yami in disbelief. "Well nothing. If you want to look like a homicidal murderer." "Well actually-" "Get changed NOW!"  
  
Bakura grabbed the apple and ran upstairs to his bedroom. In his eyes there was nothing wrong with his outfit, sure there was a fair quantity of blood on the shirt, but they were only going to meet the two psycho's and Isis. Malik would probably be wearing much worse than he was...  
  
At the Ishtar residence Isis was having the same problem as Ryou. Only in stereo. "Why can't you just wear the red shirt? At least the blood stains don't show up as much?" "Isis, I want to wear my Slipknot shirt!" Isis resisted the urge to hit her brother. "I've told you a million times "IT'S IN THE WASH!" "What's it doing in there?" "Getting clean! What do you think?"  
  
"Oh. Is it ready now?" Isis threw a glass at her brother who dodged it and went in search of the shirt. "Where's your Yami?" "Bed still?" "But we have to leave in 20 minutes! What's he playing at?"  
  
Isis ran upstairs to the Yami's room. Banging on the door she yelled for him to come out. After a minute Malik appeared in the doorway wearing nothing but boxers (^___^) "What are you doing? We have to leave soon! Get changed, er, dressed." Malik just stared. "Now?" "Yes now. We have to meet Bakura and Ryou in the mall in 15 minutes! We're going to be so late!" "Oh, fine. I'll get dressed then."  
  
The door slammed in her face. Isis began counting to ten, a good way to relieve stress. "One...two...three..." "Isis, is my Slipknot shirt ready yet?" "TEN!!!"  
  
Isis ran down the stairs to her topless brother and smacked him over the head. "Just put the red shirt on!" She threw the shirt at him. Marik wisely put the shirt on and went to go get his Yami ready. Isis sat at the kitchen table, rocking back and forth. "Must...kill...brother...and Yami..."  
  
Getting up she walked into the living room, only to find that the couch was completely taken up with Marik's knitting equipment. Resisting the urge to yell and stab both men with the needles she began to clear it into a neat pile.   
  
Marik had taken up knitting after he had killed several teachers. The psychiatrist had said it might help. He had stabbed the psychiatrist with the needles, then started actually knitting. And now he was addicted. And the addiction had spread to his Yami.  
  
In fact the only reason Malik and Marik were going to the mall was to buy more wool, Kami-san knows how Ryou had persuaded Bakura to go.  
  
After what seemed like eternity Marik, Malik and Isis were in their car on the way to the mall. "Okay, Isis. As soon as we find Ryou and Bakura, Marik and I are going in search of craft stores, while you three can, um, well. I don't know. But have fun!" "Thanks Malik. But please, for the love of Ra keep your eyes on the road!"  
  
"Oh, yeah." He swerved just in time to miss the oncoming car. "heh, that was close, right Marik?" Marik was gripping the seat, eyes wide, as was Isis. "How the hell did you pass your test?"  
  
"Test?" Isis sighed. Hoping that she would reach the mall in one piece.  
  
At the mall Ryou and Bakura were sitting in the burger bar where they were supposed to meet the others. "Where the hell are they?" "Bakura, I didn't know 20 minutes ago. I didn't know 10 minutes ago. I still don't know!"   
  
"Welcome to Burger World! Can I take your order? Ryou! Kura!" Anzu smiled as she gave Ryou a hug. She moved towards Bakura but- "I swear to Ra if you come anywhere near me bitch, your ass will be in the shadow Realm so fast."  
  
Anzu visibly paled. "Um, so, Ryou. What'll it be?" "Just a burger a coke." "Yeah, okay. B-Bakura?" Bakura shot her a death glare. "Meat. Now." Anzu nodded and ran off.  
  
"Bakura, will you please stop threatening my friends?" "No."   
  
"Malik, I am never getting in a car with you again. EVER!" "What? You're alive aren't you?" Isis said nothing. Instead staring at Maliks parking 'attempt'. Their black car was now smashed into two other cars. And a small fire had started. "I say we walk way..."  
  
The three ran from the scene as people began to gather around the wreckage. They stopped when they reached Burger World, as they entered they saw another crowd, this time gathered around a table.   
  
Bakura was yelling at Anzu, who was crying. Ryou had his face hidden in his hands leaning against the table. Malik and Marik walked up to Ryou. "Er, Ryou? You wanna get out of here? Isis is much better at handling these types of thing!" "Yeah, we're gonna go buy wool! For knitting!"  
  
Ryou looked up. "You knit? Finally, someone who shares my hobby!" Ryou got up and the three slipped out of the restaurant. Isis noticed too late.   
  
"Hey, wait! You can't leave me here!" Turning back the manager had walked up to her. "Do you know this man?" He pointed to Bakura. "Well, yes, but-" "Please come this way."  
  
The two were lead down a hallway to an office and told to wait there. "This is all your fault you know! What did you do to Anzu anyway?" Bakura smirked. "Just told her the truth, that she's never going to get anywhere with a face like that. And the outfits, urgh!" Isis sighed.  
  
"What's wrong with her clothes?" "Too slutty. If she had an ass to show off it wouldn't be as bad. But clothes like what you're wearing are better." Isis, realising what the tomb robbed had said blushed.  
  
"And she wears too much make up. Natural is better, y'know? Like what you've got on." The blush on Isis's face deepened.  
  
"And you know what else?" "I don't want to know!" Isis tried to hide her face but Bakura saw. And smirked again. "What's the matter, can't take a compliment? I know I don't give them often but." He stopped, lost for words. He had had a crush on Isis for a while now, but being Bakura had no idea how to express these feelings. So it usually ended up in violence.  
  
That was why they were there in the first place - Anzu had tried to come on to him when she had brought their order. Bakura had been embarrassed because he had feelings for Isis, and hated Anzu. And so he punched her.  
  
"Listen. Isis. I'm sorry that we're here." "Yeah, me too. As soon as Malik and Marik have finished buying knitting stuff all hell will break loose over the mall, and I won't be able to stop it. But it's not your fault. Not really. I could have left you, and said I had no idea who you were. But I didn't want to."  
  
Bakura smiled, a genuine smile. "Yeah, I know you could have. But I'm glad you stayed." They both looked up and their eyes met. Isis blushed slightly as Bakura stood up and made his way over to her.  
  
"Well that's the wool. I can't believe how many colours that place had!" "Yeah, this should keep us going for a while." Ryou walked beside them all three holding bags. "Lets go see if Isis saved Bakura." "I suppose. I feel kinda bad about leaving them like that though."   
  
"Yes, I hope they're okay together. I don't think they get along very well. Everytime I mention Bakura to Isis she just goes red and quickly changes the subject. Very odd." Marik stopped. "Malik, Isis loves Bakura?" "I didn't say that. Just that she has a shrine to him under her bed. And when she sleeps she calls out for him. It's like one of those crappy soaps."  
  
Marik ran towards Burger World, no way in hell was he going to let Bakura anywhere near his sister!  
  
The security guard opened the door to his office ready to speak with Bakura. "Aaah! Go away!" He slammed the door shut quickly, face white. He was not going back in there. He walked off down the hall and bumped into three blonde teens.   
  
"Where are Isis and Bakura?" "Um, in there. But you might want to-" "Isis! You will not date Bak - OH MY GOD! Ewww!" Marik slammed the door shut. "Must...scratch out...eyes!"   
  
"Um, Malik, I think we should take Marik home." Malik nodded and they led Marik to Ryou's car.  
  
Back in the office Isis was buttoning up her shirt while Bakura found his pants. "You see. If Anzu was as great as you, then I wouldn't have punched her!" Isis smiled and threw Bakura his jacket.   
  
"Well that was definitely the most interesting place I've-" "Yeah, me too." Bakura tied up his shoelace. "Well, what now?" "What do you mean?" Isis sighed and caught Bakura's lips. "I mean about us, baka." Bakura smiled seductively and kissed Isis again.   
  
"Hm, well. I could take you out to dinner..." Isis smiled "...then we could catch a movie..." Isis's smile grew "...and then we could set fire to something!" Isis frowned. "Maybe we could, skip the burning part?"  
  
Bakura shrugged and smiled. "Whatever. As long as we can do this again!" Isis smiled. "Yeah, but you might want to not tell Marik, he gets a bit over protective." Bakura nodded. "Well, I'm starved. I never actually ate that burger..." He took Isis's hand. "Lets go get lunch!" Isis leaned her head on Bakura's shoulder as they walked past the security guard who was too embarrassed to say or do anything.  
  
Back at the Ishtar residence Marik was sitting in disbelief. Malik and Ryou were sitting knitting. "Marik, get over it, she's a big girl. She can do what she want's." "I know but, Bakura?"  
  
"Oh, just shut up and resume knitting!" Marik sighed and picked up the needles. "Yeah, because when Isis and Bakura have a baby you can make the clothes!" Malik and Ryou laughed as Marik turned white.  
  
"No! No baby's! I refuse to let Isis have Bakura's child!"   
  
A year later however Marik was knitting baby clothes. He wasn't very happy. "Ah, look! Aoki just smiled at Uncle Marik!" "Do baby's drink beer?" "Our's doesn't!" Isis pulled Aoki away from Bakura and his can of Carling.  
  
"Isis, I had beer all the time when I was a baby, and I turned out fine." "Listen, the kids got it bad enough having your genes, he doesn't need to lose braincells with underage drinking!"   
  
"Oh, shut up Marik." Marik resumed his knitting. He would never admit it, but little Aoki was very pretty. She had Isis's eyes, and Bakura's complexion.   
  
"So, bro, what are we doing tonight?" Marik growled, after Isis and Bakura had married he had insisted on calling Marik 'bro', and Marik hated it.  
  
"Come on, I'm only kidding. Truce?" Marik looked up, unbelieving. "Truce." He went to shake Bakura's hand but Bakura moved and smacked him round the head. Aoki watched and laughed. "You think it's funny? You wanna take this outside?" Bakura stood up ready to fight.  
  
Isis just sighed. They would probably never get along, but at least now Ryou was there she could have some normal conversations. Smiling down at her daughter she knew that life was perfect. And it was only going to get better.  
  
"Ow! You bastard! That hurt!"  
  
Isis sighed. Maybe not much better...  
  
~*~Owari~*~  
  
That was fun! I liked writing that. I hope you enjoyed reading it! Please review.   
  
And MTG, I hope this was the kind of thing you wanted! 


End file.
